


Be Your Love

by bythelightofthenight



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, gay communal living with friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 06:36:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bythelightofthenight/pseuds/bythelightofthenight
Summary: They’re all too old for this.It’s what Miller says as they stand in the empty parking lot, all way past tipsy except for him, staring down two abandoned shopping carts. The night’s chilly but they’re not feeling it. Raven’s cheeks are pink and Wells’ flannel is on inside out.“Come on, Nathaniel”, Monty grins widely, his hair windblown under the beanie he’d nicked from Nathan’s room. “Live a little.”“That’s not my name.”





	Be Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> i don't have better description than what i tagged i just wanted to write n my meds got upped so i was feeling good n gay so this is That and also it went explicit oh well someone's gotta get laid
> 
> if any of u have seen the british show crashing .. you'll probably understand faster. nothing too exciting but .. scenery wise
> 
> also listen to be your love by bishop briggs thank u enjoy

They’re all too old for this. 

It’s what Miller says as they stand in the empty parking lot, all way past tipsy except for him, staring down two abandoned shopping carts. The night’s chilly but they’re not feeling it. Raven’s cheeks are pink and Wells’ flannel is on inside out. 

“Come on, Nathaniel”, Monty grins widely, his hair windblown under the beanie he’d nicked from Nathan’s room. “Live a little.” 

“That’s not my name”, he grumbles, but takes a step forward, earning cheers from the others. Harper helps Raven climb into one of the carts while Bellamy bounces on the balls of his feet. 

“Will you ride with me, good sir?” 

The street lights glint off the hideous shiny silver coat Monty found from the back of Raven’s closet. Still, Nathan’s chest is filled with warmth. 

“Sure.” He climbs in, the cold metal making him hiss under his breath. “Just don't kill me.”

“I'll never hurt you.”

He believes it. 

Wells has jogged over to the other side of the lot. Harper digs out her phone and raises her free hand. 

“Ready! Get set! Van Gogh!” 

Bellamy and Monty set off in a run, pushing the carts towards the finishing line of Wells. Nathan holds on for dear life. Monty's hand is over his as he jumps on for the finish. His last push is enough to have them cross the line first. 

In the celebration of their victory they nearly crash into a lamppost and swerve to the side only to end up tipping over. Sprawled on the ground with bruises on their sides, Monty's hand is still in his. It's the night he falls in love. 

\--

“How's this one?” 

They dutifully raise their eyes to another one of Clarke's outfits. She spins with very little grace, holding out her arms. 

“Well?”

“Sexy”, Harper nods.

“It's as good as you'll get”, Nathan offers. 

“It's the one”, Wells says. 

“Thank you. I hate you. Thank you.” Clarke checks her hair from the mirror once more before grabbing her things. “I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully.” 

“Get it, C!” Monty high fives her on his way in. “You all look lazy as shit.” He takes a seat on the couch armrest next to Nathan. “What's up?” 

“We were figuring out dinner. Why are you late?” 

“I have a life outside of you, thank you very much.” 

Raven shares a look with Harper. “No, you don't.” 

“What's his name?”

“It's not a _he_! Tell them, Miller, it's not always a he.” 

He looks up at him. “Is it though?” 

Monty meets his eyes. “I'm not seeing anyone.”

He feels a little better. 

“Can you leave Monty alone and figure out dinner already? I'm hungry”, Wells whines. 

“Only for you will I let this go”, Raven agrees. 

Monty leans over him to kiss the side of Wells’ head, draping himself over Nathan's lap. He remains there, curled around him. Nathan holds him carefully. His arm is looped behind his back, fingers resting where his ribs are. Monty’s a blanket of warmth and it’s slowly lulling him into a light sleep. 

“Hey, you wanna eat?” Monty asks softly. 

Nathan makes a lazy noise. Monty chuckles and sits up on his thighs. 

“Nathan. Wake up now. Time to eat.”

The cool air that hits him when Monty pushes himself up finally forces him to open his eyes. “Why.”

“Come on, honey”, Harper calls from the kitchen. 

“What did you get?” 

“Chinese.” 

“Alright.” He stands up and joins his friends around the table. It's too small and creaks under the weight of their tableware every time, but somehow they still fit. 

\--

“Coming in!” 

He sighs and adjusts the shower curtain. They really need to fix that lock. Clarke saunters in without a thread of clothing on to blow dry her hair. Nathan finishes his shower briskly, turning down the heat. 

He hasn't had a moment to relax alone in a while and Clarke's call had ruined yet another attempt of his fingers curled around his dick. The walls of his room don't do much to cover the noises of those moments so he was counting on the shower. Clarke offers him a grin and he sighs internally. 

The living room is a mess of clothes and coffee cups as everyone tries to make their way out the door for the day. Maya's sat on the counter with Harper between her thighs. They eat cereal from the same bowl, and Nathan wishes he had someone to --

He's lonely and frustrated, romantically and sexually. It's too early to make it deeper. 

Monty touches his arm as he moves around him to enter the kitchen. Nathan wants him so bad it's hard to breathe a little. Thankfully Bellamy interrupts his train of thought with the mystery of his lost wallet. 

“We need to fix the bathroom lock”, he says after the great solve of checking behind the microwave. 

“Sure”, Raven shrugs. 

“I think it's sexy.”

Nathan raises his brows at Harper. “To have no privacy?”

“What do you need privacy for?” Bellamy asks, genuinely seeming confused. 

“Showering?”

“Since when?”

“Guys. Miller wants to be left alone in the shower.”

“I'd like to be in charge of the number of naked people in the room.”

“What's the right number then?” Monty asks with a grin. 

“Any number without Clarke”, he says instead of his head exploding. 

Clarke gasps. “Hey! I'm nice to look at.”

Maya and Harper make noises of agreement. Raven and Monty nod. 

“It just makes Miller sad you're the only person he's seeing naked”, Bellamy offers. 

“Oh god.” He buries his face in his hands. 

“You'll find someone to look at naked, hon, don't worry.”

“I can volunteer”, Bellamy says, and the fact everyone turns to look at him expectantly should be enough to remind him all his friends are batshit crazy. 

“I need all of you to stop thinking about whom I wanna see naked.” He mostly means it. 

He receives a hug from each of them before they go their merry way. It's awful. 

\--

“I swear my feet didn't touch the ground the whole way home.”

Bellamy sighs. “That's so romantic.” He pops more popcorn into his mouth. Bellamy never finishes his popcorn during the first half of the movie like a normal person, too engrossed in the film. 

Wells’ smile is infectious. He's just joined them from a first date. 

“Why aren't you that romantic to me?” Bellamy pokes at Raven.

She raises a brow. “You saying I don't treat you right?”

“Both of you shut up so we can go home.” Nathan rests his cheek on Bellamy’s shoulder. 

Monty bites down a smile. Nathan's eyes are shut as Bellamy plants salty kisses on his cheek. 

“Come on, Mon. Let's go.” Raven tugs on his arm, looping hers through his. 

They get a few paces ahead before Bellamy, Nathan and Wells follow them. Raven glances back at them. “Do you think I could steal the popcorn off him?”

“You're not allowed to run, Raven”, Monty says patiently. “Don't do it. Use your wits.”

“Can I use my tits instead?” 

“Bell won't fall for it.” 

“Never should've slept with him.”

“Which time?” Monty raises his brows. Raven flicks his ear. 

“Bell! Can I eat your popcorn?”

“Already called dibs”, Nathan calls back. 

“Prick”, Raven mutters halfheartedly. “I'd use the ‘you sleep in my bed’ card, but I think Miller would give it to him if he just asked.” 

Monty just shakes his head. Raven's typing on her phone intensely, and he keeps her from hitting other people on the poorly lit streets. 

“Miller! Would you do Bellamy if he just asked?”

Monty sighs. 

“Probably”, Nathan replies after a beat.

“Aw, dude”, Bellamy smiles brightly. “Never doubted you.”

“Why are we weighing the possibility of me boning Bell?” 

Raven waves him off. “You have the keys?” 

Miller digs them out of his pocket and hands them over. They enter their building, all stopping to watch Raven switch on the light. It flickers once, twice before turning on. With a subdued cheer they continue to the stairs. 

Maya looks up when they enter. Harper’s eyes are closed. 

“Hey, babe.” Bellamy drops a kiss on top of her head. 

“H, you dead?” Nathan waves a hand over Harper’s face. 

“Unfortunately not”, she mumbles, opening one eye. “Did you have fun while I was suffering?” 

“A whole lot.” 

“Did you at least bring something to your poor, dying friend?”

He shrugs. “Sorry.” 

“Here, H. Have these.” Bellamy hands over his popcorn container. 

Harper holds it to her chest. “He loves me after all.” 

“I do”, Bellamy says before heading to the bathroom.

“I'm gonna turn in, too. Work tomorrow.”

Nathan watches Harper hand the popcorn over to Raven, who kisses her hair and signs something that looks like an offer for either a foot massage or a handjob. He doesn't want to know which. They're all way too close.

Monty takes a seat next to Harper and lifts her feet into his lap. Nathan slides into the space next to him with a yawn. 

“What are we watching?” 

“Bridget Jones’ diary.”

Monty gasps while he groans. Harper kicks at him futilely. 

“You can go to your room if it's not up to your standards.”

Nathan snorts. “I share a wall with those two. I'll give them a minute to argue about the damn popcorn.”

Monty snickers.

“Why do you get to choose, anyway?”

“I can only breathe through one nostril; I'm holding the damn remote, _Nathan_.”

“Yeah, don't fight her, Nathan”, Maya nods.

“Ooh. You got hit with the first name.” Monty pokes at his side. 

“This is bullying. I'm going to sleep.” Nathan pushes himself up and over the back of the couch. At Harper's insistence, he returns to kiss the top of her head. He leaves one on Monty's as well. 

Through the walls he hears Harper still sniffling. She's the only one out of them who's gotten sick so far that fall. It makes no sense, but they're only ever sick one at a time. Monty's and her stuffy laugh lull him to sleep. 

\--

“Hey, can you give me a hand?” Monty peeks in from the doorway. 

Nathan looks up from his book. “Of course. What do you need?” 

“Some shopping help?” Monty gives him a hopeful smile. “For the Halloween party.”

“Oh god”, he says while still rolling out of bed and grabbing his jacket. “Why are we even having a party?”

“We’re not... technically. The whole house is.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Lead the way.” 

Monty preens and they head out. 

The store is full of people in similar affairs. Decorations are scattered everywhere, employees are dressed in various costumes. Nathan makes a pained face at Monty, who just squeezes his bicep. He has a list on his phone that looks way too long. 

“What are you dressing as?”

“Nothing.” 

“You have to.” Monty’s lower lip is sticking out as he leans on the shopping cart. “It’ll be fun.”

“I don’t have any ideas.” 

“I’ll help you! I’m amazing at costumes.” 

Nathan rolls his eyes. “Of course you are. I never doubted that.” 

“We’ll find you something. Maybe some antlers. Then you’ll have something for the Christmas-Hannukah card, too.” 

“I was wrong. You are amazing.” 

“Told you.” Monty bats his lashes at him. “Oh, there’s the fluffy ears!” 

“Who’s wearing fluffy ears?”

“Bell and I lost a bet... we’re gonna be sexy animals.” 

“Like on Mean Girls?” Nathan covers his mouth with his hand. “That’s wrong.” 

“I know that. So does Raven. Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing.” He is. “You’re gonna look great.”

“Shut up. I’m a man of my word.”

“No, I’m proud of you, Mon.” He manages to train his face into a serious expression. 

Monty watches him for a moment, fighting a smile of his own. “I hate you. You know that?” 

“Yeah, I do. Let’s get you those ears.” 

\--

He regrets laughing soon enough. The entire building is covered in cobwebs and hanging bats. There’s glowing red lights in dark corners, plastic bugs in the bathrooms. They’ve gone all out. He makes it through the cackling demon that falls in front of him when he steps into the downstairs kitchen. Then he heads to their floor and sees Monty. 

He’s wearing nothing but a tiny pair of booty shorts, a leather vest he knows is Raven’s, and black cat ears. A long tail is tacked to the back of the shorts. Nathan feels lightheaded for the first minute he does nothing but stare. There’s so much skin that he doesn’t normally see, the length of his legs, everything from his collarbones down to the trail of dark hair disappearing into his shorts. 

“Fuck.”

“I know, don’t they look amazing?” 

He startles at Harper’s sudden appearance at his side. She’s watching Monty and Bellamy, the latter dressed in white shorts, fluffy slippers, and bunny ears, with a grin. 

“Yeah. Yeah. Amazing.” 

“You look cute, too”, she assures. “A little on the nose, though.” 

“What do you think I am?” 

“A lumberjack?”

“I’m a werewolf.” 

“Oh! I see it now. You can’t blame me, though. The flannel, the boots, the beard.”

“Please stop talking.” 

Harper giggles. “I’m glad you’re not a stereotype, honey.” 

He groans until she skips away. 

“Hey!”

He’s ready to die. “Hey, Mon.” 

“You clean up good... or the other way.”

“You too. The first way.” 

Monty grins almost bashfully for someone who’s half naked. “Thank you.” 

“Harper thought I was a lumberjack.” 

Monty bites down a laugh. “I mean... you could be a werewolf lumberjack.” 

“Everyone’s gonna think that, aren’t they?” 

“Yeah. But you pull it off. You look hot.” 

“Shut up. I’m gonna get a drink.” 

“Watch out for the pop-up skeleton. Nearly made Bell cry earlier.” 

He keeps his eyes on Monty’s face only. “Thanks.” He turns back not a few seconds later. “Got it on video?” 

“Of course.” 

“Thank you.” 

\-- 

He wakes up hungover, alone and cranky. Monty spent most of the night talking to the new guy from downstairs. So Nathan spent his night drinking more than usually. Bellamy tried to console him by keeping close to him, but due to his costume choice it was distracting in a whole different way. He’s only human. 

He was nearly ready to accept his offer to share a bed for the night, but that was less about being human and more about being pathetic. 

“Hey, honey. You good?” Harper asks from the couch where she’s lying between Maya’s thighs, her head on her chest. 

It makes him feel worse. “Peachy.” 

“You want breakfast, sweetheart?” 

“Wells made pancakes.” 

“They’re great”, Clarke adds with her mouth full. 

Raven steps out of the bathroom in her robe. “Hey, babe, you sleep well?”

“Stop that. All of you. With the baby names”, he snaps. “I’m fine.” 

“You were drinking a lot. We just noticed.” Raven sits on the edge of the couch and folds her hands in her lap. 

“I’m fine. I just need a gallon of water and some aspirin.” The others seem to accept his answer quietly. They stand still for a while. “And a hug.” 

He gets four pairs of arms around him. It makes him feel a little better. 

“Let me get to those pancakes, then.” 

Bellamy gets up soon enough and he receives a fifth hug. He has pancakes and watches Bellamy’s abs. Things are taking a turn for the better. 

“Did Wells leave already?” 

“Yes, he has a morning date with Mr. Romantic.” 

“He have a first name?” 

“Lincoln.” 

“Who has morning dates?” Raven steals a pancake off of Bellamy’s plate. 

“Romantic people”, Bellamy says dryly. 

“Someone needs to take a hint”, Clarke mutters. 

Raven huffs. “Oh god, I’m super romantic.” 

“Really should take your man out, Raven.” Harper shakes her head. 

“I’m gonna kill all of you.” 

Bellamy just grins at her. 

“Is Monty getting up?” Harper peers out to the hallway. 

“Think he had a late night”, Clarke says. 

“I'm gonna take a shower.” Nathan gets up from the table swiftly. 

“Want some company?” Bellamy asks.

“Oh my god.”

\--

It was almost two years ago when they met. He'd moved in a good while back and become one of the permanent residents. Monty was a friend of Raven’s who needed a place to live. His eyes were wide the first time he walked into the abandoned building they called home. 

“It was some kind of a commune, possibly a cult”, Bellamy's explaining when Nathan first sees them. 

“This is probably not legal, huh?” 

“Technically no.”

“Okay.” 

“Oh, there's Miller. He's one of us second floor-ers.” 

Monty shakes his hand with a smile. “I'm Monty. And really grateful to get to stay here.” 

“Miller. We all are so far.”

Bellamy knocks on wood. “We basically live on our own floors, but you can get to know the folks up and down too. First floor throws some great parties.” 

“I could really use a shower, if that's okay?” 

“Of course! Miller, would you show him the room and I'll grab the linen.” 

Monty takes the last free room on their floor. Nathan tries to hold the conversation with him while they wait for Bellamy, but he feels slightly off when Monty's brown eyes focus on him. It's almost as if he's nervous, but for no reason. 

“I can, uh, help you find some furniture later. If you'd like. There's a... basement here. It's creepy but there's a lot of old stuff.”

“Yeah, thank you. I'd like that.” 

Monty smiles at him and his cheeks feel warm. 

“Here we are!” Bellamy announces as he arrives with an armful of sheets and towels. “We have a communal laundry room too if you have anything.”

“Oh, do I”, Monty lets out a slightly pained laugh. 

“We'll leave you to it. Don't be afraid to ask anything; everyone here's nice.”

“Thank you.” 

They shut the door behind them. Bellamy looks pleased with himself. 

“You sounded like a tour guide.”

“I did not!”

\--

“We've got a problem”, Bellamy says. They're all seated in front of him in the living room, waiting for his news. “First floor’s got some plumbing shit to deal with. They've gotta open the floor in a couple of places. So they're moving up while the renovations are on.” 

“All of them?”

“Divided between us and three, of course.” 

“That's it? We just gotta give them some room?”

“Well... yes. We're hoping the issue’s only downstairs. But that's all I've got for now.” 

“Wells, I'll move in with you, yeah?” Clarke leans back to rest her head in his lap. 

“Sure.”

“There's room in my room”, Monty says. 

Bellamy types quickly on his phone. “That's great. Thanks, guys.”

So the first floor moves up. Four people come to stay on the second floor. Clarke's room is taken over by a couple, while Monty's joined by a nightshifter and the guy he was with at the Halloween party. 

Nathan's grateful his room is the smallest. He wouldn't enjoy sharing... with strangers. 

Breakfast is even more crowded than before and the bathroom door is basically just open at all times. Still, they know each other well enough that they can handle it. Most of them are studying or working during the days anyway. 

“We really need a Wells downstairs. None of us can cook for shit”, Anya says at breakfast. 

“I've been telling him to start an in-house catering business, but he just won't listen.” Clarke pokes at his cheek. Wells glows under the praise, but swats her off. 

“You still have room downstairs?” Monty asks. 

Nathan focuses on his coffee cup. Of course he's thought about moving out, Monty moving out, someone else moving in. But they've lived so harmoniously for so long it hasn't seemed like a real possibility. 

“Yeah, one empty since Mo moved out.” 

“Oh.” Monty nods thoughtfully. 

Anya pushes herself up. “Anyone need a ride? I'm heading out now.” 

“I'll come”, Nathan’s moving without much thought. He knows he should stop moping, but watching Monty chat with the new guy through the whole subway ride over isn't something that'll bring his mood up. 

“Bye!” 

He just nods at Monty's farewell. Something else to kick himself over for the rest of the day. 

\--

He'd fallen asleep to the soft chatter floating from the living room. Only an hour later he's woken up by a knock on the door. 

His eyes barely focus through the light from the hallway. Monty's biting his lip, his hands twisted together in a nervous gesture. “Hi.”

“Hey”, he pushes himself up, “everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine. I just wanted to ask if I could...”

Nathan shuffles back on the bed and holds up the covers. Monty closes the door behind himself and sheds his hoodie quickly. He gets in, wafting in cold air until the covers wrap around him. 

“Thank you.” 

He hums lowly, pressing a kiss on his lips before shifting towards the wall and pulling Monty's arm around himself. He's back to sleep in seconds. 

Morning comes a few dreams later. Nathan wakes up still facing the wall. Monty's hand is resting on his stomach and his hips are cradled by his. It's enough to leave his skin burning everywhere, but there's no chance he's moving. 

In an ideal world where he still thought he was dreaming, he would push his ass back and twist around to catch Monty's lips in a kiss. Monty's fingers grip the fabric over his stomach as he comes to. A painfully sweet reminder they're both awake. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi.” 

“You want me to --”

“No. No, I'm good.” 

Monty's breath is warm against the back of his neck. “Okay.” 

They lie in silence. Monty's pinky is tracing patterns right below the hem of his shirt. It's slowly driving him crazy, but it's the best thing he's ever felt. 

“You're nice to sleep with”, Monty says. 

“You're not so bad yourself.” 

“Don't wanna get up.”

“Then don't.” 

Monty's face presses to his back. “Don't tempt me.” 

I love you, he doesn't say. 

\--

“Hey.” 

He turns around to see Monty hang his jacket on the coat rack. “Hey, how was your day?”

“Awful. What about you?”

“Boring.”

“Where’s everyone?”

“Somewhere out.”

“Ah, that kind of a night, then. Want some company?”

“Sure.”

“Give me a sec.”

Monty disappears into his room. Nathan pauses the movie. He returns in his sweats and a hoodie that at closer inspection is Nathan’s. He drops down next to him on the couch, snuggling into him. 

Nathan watches their sides pressed together, Monty's hand resting on his stomach. His heart feels too big for his chest, pushing against his ribs. Then Monty's moving away to look at him, and he snaps out of it. 

“Hey... you gonna hit play?” 

“Sorry, I spaced out for a minute.” 

“It's okay.” Monty's eyes move over his face. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” 

Monty sits up, only his knee touching the side of his thigh. “The night I first came to sleep in your bed, when you kissed me, was it an accident?” 

After Monty left his room that morning, he rolled out of bed and was hit with the crushing realization that he'd kissed Monty. There was no mention of it so he buried it deep inside, only to be thought of in his weakest moments. So much for that. 

He takes a deep breath. “It was an accident.”

Monty's face falls. He's not imagining it. This is happening. 

“But I wanted to do it.”

Monty bites his lip but it still trembles slightly. 

“I've wanted to for a long time.” 

“Thank fuck.” Monty jumps him, bringing their lips together in a pressing kiss. 

Nathan's more than ready and draws him in. He grips his waist as Monty clambers into his lap. They kiss and kiss with swollen lips and heating hands, pulling and molding into each other. He's weak and starving for the loving attention Monty gives him. 

“Tell me what you want”, Monty whispers, hands running over his neck and shoulders. 

He shivers at the rasp in his voice. “I want you. I love you.”

Monty stills with his palms cupping his jaw. “You do?” 

“Yeah. Sorry if that's --”

“No. No. I love you too. Of course I do.” 

“Oh.” He swallows what feels like a sob. 

“Yeah.” Monty presses a kiss that’s more of a smile to his lips. “Kiss me.” 

He does. Quick, light kisses to the corners of his lips, the line of his jaw. Long, demanding kisses that leave him breathless. He kisses Monty in every way he’s wanted to for months and months. 

“Wanna”, he’s interrupted by a needy gasp, “go to your room?” 

Nathan can barely talk, his hands shaky on Monty’s hips. “Yes.” 

\--

“So...” Bellamy says at breakfast, stretching the word out into a question. 

“What?” Nathan takes a seat next to Wells and Monty sits to his side. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Nothing’s going on.” Monty glances at him and he shrugs. 

“ _Something’s_ going on”, Harper agrees. 

“Or you two are just too nosy for your own good.” 

Bellamy gets a dramatically mournful look on his face. “Guess they just don’t wanna tell us.” He takes a bite of his waffle, gazing out the window. 

Raven lets her forehead fall to the tabletop. 

Nathan narrows his eyes. “You've got nothing.” 

“Don’t I?” 

“I think he does”, Harper says. 

“Alright.” 

Monty sighs. “Nathan and I are dating. Since last week.” 

“Ha! Told you”, Bellamy pokes at Raven’s arm. 

“Congrats, guys”, Wells squeezes his shoulder. 

“Thanks. Also for being the only normal person in this house.” 

Monty gives him a soft smile. Nathan kicks his ankle under the table. 

“How long did you think you could keep it under wraps?” Raven asks. 

“Longer than under a week.” 

“Really?” Monty raises a brow. He still looks sleep-mussed and there’s a pillow crease on his cheek. He wants to kiss him. 

“Okay. Maybe not.” 

Bellamy snorts. “You did a horrible job at hiding it. Miller’s got a love face visible from space.” 

“I do not!”

“You do.”

“I mean now, recognizing it as your love face... you kind of do”, Harper says apologetically. 

“Well, that’s a little bit humiliating.” 

“It’s cute”, Monty takes his hand. 

Nathan smiles at him as he strokes his thumb over the back of his hand. 

“There it is!”

\-- 

“Hey, wanna give me a hand?” 

He looks up at Monty, who’d somehow already gotten out of bed and dressed. “What is it now?” 

“I’ve promised to take over the grocery run. And I know it’s your day off too, so don’t lie.” 

“Fine. Give me fifteen.” He rolls out of bed, earning a grin from his boyfriend. 

After a quick shower and a cup of coffee they’re out the door. It’s a cold day, the wind crisp on their cheeks, but Monty’s hand in his keeps him warm. They’re dragging several bags home, when they walk past an abandoned shopping cart. 

“Hey. You remember that one time we had a cart race? We were so drunk. When even was it?”

Nathan makes a noncommittal noise. “Last February.” 

“Oh yeah.” Monty throws him a few glances like he wants to say something, but it takes him a while to speak up. “I had a crush on you... back then. Kind of always. Is that weird?”

“No.” 

“I don’t know why I never said anything. I guess I thought it’d be weird for us to live together after that. If you didn’t like me.” 

“Yeah. I know.” 

“Probably should’ve been an adult about it. But honestly it kind of always existed, like, I thought you were cute the day we met. And we became friends. I realized we’d probably be perfect together, but I didn’t want to be too much in my head. Like, play off a fantasy, you know?”

“Yeah.” 

“I knew we were close. So it could’ve just been that. The looks, the touches. It must’ve been pretty obvious, actually.” 

“Probably.” 

“But it was just an _us_ thing. I knew I could cuddle with you and joke around with you without it being awkward. But at the same time I wore the jeans that made you look at me more all the time. I guess I wanted to test it out. And I felt better when I could at least think you were attracted to me.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Sorry for ranting. I’ve just, you know, thought about this a lot now. Can finally let go of all those fears and the anxiety.” 

“No, I... you know, I don’t mind.” 

“You can talk to me, too, if you want.” 

He knows Monty wishes to get something out of him. But his thoughts aren’t as neat and he’s not as good at putting them into words. Especially when he's considered his feelings so embarrassing for so long. 

“I will.” 

It makes Monty smile. 

They reach the house, and Clarke's basically hanging out the window in an attempt to straighten the lights they put up before Christmas-Hanukkah. 

“Hey, Clarke! Tell someone to come help us carry!” Monty yells at her. 

“Sure! I can totally get back in.”

They get in and stop to wait by the stairs. Monty pulls him in to press a quick kiss on his lips. 

\--

He drops on the bed with a groan. Monty acknowledges him with a hand that lifts up lazily and lands on his arm. His hair is standing up everywhere after a shower and he smells invitingly good. 

“Today is the worst.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

“How was your exam?”

“Disgusting. Hideous. Ghastly.” 

“Poor baby.” He wriggles to Monty's side to wrap an arm around him and press his nose to his neck. “I'm here for you.”

“I wanna do things _to_ you. But I need sleep.”

He chuckles, stroking his side comfortingly. “We'll take a nap and then fuck. Good?”

“Good”, Monty kisses his cheek. “Wake me up in an hour. Have your ass ready.” 

“God you're dumb.” 

Monty lays a hand over his mouth without opening his eyes. “Shh, I'm sleeping.”

In the end it's Monty who wakes him up by slipping a cold water bottle under his shirt. He turns his head to glare at him. Monty just smiles sheepishly. 

“Drink some water, go pee.”

He pulls out the bottle. “There’s that romance I fell in love with.” 

“You feeling up for it?” 

He stretches lazily, scratching down his chest. Monty’s eyes follow the movement. “Yeah. We alone?” 

“Yes.” 

“Give me a minute. Don’t. Do anything.” He leaves a kiss on Monty’s forehead as he rolls over him to get off the bed. 

He's back in no time, having already grown giddy with the thought of getting to touch Monty without fear of interruption. Monty's arms are resting on the pillow over his head in a sign of obedience. He grins as Nathan strips quickly. 

“I swear you get sexier every day.” 

“Okay, don't overdo it”, he says and climbs back into bed. 

Monty reaches for him immediately. “I'm not kidding. It drives me crazy.”

“Uh-huh.” Their lips are just a breath away, Monty's hands running over his skin steadily. It's a still of a moment that makes him think nothing could be better in his life. Monty's warm and his eyes are hungry, and there's never a sliver of doubt in him, about this, about them. 

They come together with ease of habit, always exploring and not fearing getting lost. Monty's hands on him never fail to make his heart race. They map his arms, the dip of his back, pull his thighs closer, in. He kisses back as long as he can, but long fingers entering him press him pliant and fuzzy. 

“Want you.”

Monty only pulls him closer, another finger teasing his rim, driving him further into complete uselessness. 

“Mon”, he whines. 

“Yes?” He gets a bright smile from swollen lips. 

Nathan eases a hand under his waistband and strokes him between his fingers. Monty’s mouth falls open in a gasp. “Want you.”

“I got you.”

He can't help a grin when Monty gives a full body shiver as he circles a finger over his opening, dipping in just the slightest bit to feel how wet he is. “Think it's the other way around.”

Monty laughs and kisses the corner of his mouth. “Turn around.”

He rolls over and listens to the sounds of Monty ridding himself of the rest of his clothing. His stomach feels tighter with the whish of the zipper on the bag they keep in the nightstand drawer. Some shuffling and a soft click later Monty settles behind him, his dick resting between his cheeks. 

“Where'd you put the -- Got it.” 

He hears the soft buzz of the vibrator, but it all fades away when Monty enters him. He arches his back against him and Monty peppers kisses over the curve of his neck. They set a pace of short, shallow thrusts and soothing hands. He holds onto the arm Monty has around his chest, the other stroking him in time with his hips. 

Monty tenses, his knees curling up and pushing him just a touch deeper as he comes. He works himself back into the cradle of his hips. Monty's slick fingers rubbing down behind his balls sets him off and he comes with a groan over Monty's hand. 

They lie together, both twitching with the last of the vibrations. Monty lets out a pleased hum and runs his hands over his skin again. Leaning back earns him a kiss, but then Monty's pulling out. He misses the heat and blunt pressure immediately. 

There's baby wipes stashed in their drawer too, knowing their laziness. They clean up best they can and settle back down in each other's arms. 

“What d’you say - we have another half an hour nap and then get up for dinner?”

Nathan sighs happily. “Man after my own heart.” 

\--

The countdown is still an hour away. Nathan's had just under two drinks, leaving him pleasantly buzzing under his skin but nothing further. He's standing by the window for some fresh air, the crowd of bodies raising the temperature of the room. 

Bellamy slips under his arm and leans into him. “You good?” 

“Yeah, I am.”

“Good. Just don't try to sneak up to bed before midnight.”

“I won't.”

“Hey, at least this year you have someone to kiss, huh?”

Nathan pushes him away by his forehead. Bellamy laughs and bounces right back. 

“You have a good year?”

“I did.” Better than most he's had in his adult life. He glances over to where Monty's singing karaoke with Raven. Better than most he's had, ever. “Did you?”

“I did. I'm gonna make next year even better.” 

“How's that?”

“I think I'll propose.”

“Wow, after six years?” 

Bellamy nods adamantly. “Living here, I've saved some money now. I can get her a ring she'll like. Actually promise a future.”

“That's... traditional.”

A shrug. “I'm a little drunk.”

He rubs his best friend’s back as he attempts a loose side hug. “Love you, bud.”

“Love you more.” 

Monty's watching him this time when his eyes search the room for him. He leaves the window to meet him halfway. 

“You sang great.”

“Shut up. I nailed it.” 

He gets a kiss to the corner of his mouth, but he pulls Monty in for more. They get away with a few kisses before Harper and Raven are chucking pillows at them. 

Once they've returned the open fire, he takes Monty's hands in his. “The drunk cart race we had was February 24th. I wasn't really drunk. It was the day I knew I was in love with you.” 

Monty's mouth opens in a small ‘oh’. 

“I wanted you for a long time and never said anything. I was scared too. But I loved you then and I love you now.” 

“Nathan...” 

“I'm just telling you because I want you to never doubt that. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Monty nods shakily, his eyes welling up. He sniffles as he pulls him in a tight hug. Nathan pets the hair at the back of his neck, ignoring the curious look Raven throws him. 

“I'm glad you accidentally kissed me while half asleep.” 

He laughs, leaning into the kiss Monty gives him. “Me too.” 

“Yo! Wells’ mystery boyfriend is here!” 

They all grapple towards the stairs in a slightly dangerous tumble, leaving Wells to follow with a groan.

**Author's Note:**

> me writing: promotes the harpermaya agenda
> 
> leave a comment if u lov me or if u support gay communal living


End file.
